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in the end

02 Des

I can’t tell you how happy I am to be in the last month of this remarkable year. I didn’t write much in November. I thought I might not make it through, cause my late brother was born in that month, and I had a lot of things in my mind. I really do want to write something about him, but it never came out right, so, probably it just wasn’t the time. I made a draft only to delete it, for so many times. Perhaps there are too many memories, and I couldn’t decide. And whenever I’m remembering him, the pain is still the same, it still there like the day he passed away. And I couldn’t pull it through, there are moments of tears when I’m in the middle of doing something, and I just have to stop and find my way back by trying to find a distraction.

But I guess in the end, I felt a little relieve when the month finally passed, and trying not to put so much pressure in it. I will write what I want to, and when the time is right. I should never set the time limit or boundaries to write something about someone that we love dearly.

He would be 48 if he’s still around. He was such a funny guy, he teased me a lot, he loved to cook and it was always delicious. He was the one who taking care of me when I was sick, when mom wasn’t there. He was that kind of protective big brother that we all can rely on. He is really good in drawing, he was once sketched Madonna and Mike Tyson. I think he is really creative. He made a radio, for my second brother’s birthday. But for me he always made some food, cause I love to eat 😅.  He said that no one should trust my opinion in food tasting, cause I always said “enak!!!”, which is delicious 😁. And until today, I just couldn’t find the same taste again.

He introduced me to the world of music. Some of his cassettes collection that I loved to listen to during my childhood is A-ha, Tommy Page, soundtrack of Pretty Woman and Iwan Fals. And like other teenage at that time, he did the break dance and moon walk everywhere with his friends. The hairstyle was that Duran Duran kind, and it was something that I can still laugh about, until today. He loved Michael Jackson, but insist that Sting is the best musician. There are many other, and I still listen to the sound of 80’s today, mainly because I grow up watching him appreciating the music.

He made our family to have a pet cat. The first one was Jafar, it is actually a she. But he insisted, he took the name from Disney’s Aladin.  Yeah, this is some of the good memories I had. I do remember that everybody was saying that he’s handsome, but I always failed to see that. When you lived together for so long like in a family, you kind of get used to with it, so there is nothing special. But every now and then sometimes I see his face in every other people’s face. I don’t know why. And they are all beautiful.

Well, that went well …

Thank you so much for sparing your precious time to visit, to read, to like, to comment and follow this simple blog. Very much appreciated, it means a lot to me. Wishing you all amazing people, the best 😊🙏.

 

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2 Komentar

Ditulis oleh pada Desember 2, 2018 in jurnal, remeh temeh

 

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2 responses to “in the end

  1. jmshistorycorner

    Desember 8, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    May he rest in peace.

    Disukai oleh 1 orang

     

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